Hold On, Alica
- ALICA CALDERA
- Apr 19, 2023
- 1 min read
As a final project for Musicology 68 (The Beatles), I had to analyze two songs by The Beatles or a member of the band. I decided to write my final paper on "Hold On" by Plastic Ono Band. The first time I heard the song I felt a wave of sudden tranquility that I had not experienced in so much time. I was always so tense, hopelessly trying to juggle my life that I had forgotten to take care of myself along the way. I lost perspective of where I was in the moment of my life, but I realized that the song made me confront a nagging feeling in my stomach that I needed to redirect myself to a healthier mindset. This is step one to maintaining perspective.
Confront Yourself
For me this is always the hardest step, I don't like admitting that I am struggling and much less asking for help. However, being honest with yourself is a small step that can help you to vocalize that you are not necessarily where you should be or want to be. As a college student, most of my stresses come from my academic life and my constant need to measure my success only in my academic life. Over time I have caught myself placing too much emphasis on my value with test scores, GPA, and achievements. It is during these times that I am usually far from a healthy perspective on my life and it's when I am the most unhappy. For a long time, I knew this was the case, but I continuously turned a blind eye because I didn't know how I could measure my success in other ways that were not correlated with academics. While it may seem obvious, I had a hard time realizing that there is so much more to life than my grades, which in the end are not an accurate representation of who you are as a student. I was so worried about not doing enough and my life being over that I forgot a crucial factor: The chance of me being born was 1 in 400 trillion. Talk about being lucky! I like to remind myself during these slumps that the chances of me being born were so tiny, yet here I am. And if I defied all these insane odds, why am I spending so much of my time alive worrying about something that is not a true measure of my worth as a person or even a student. Reflecting on this can seem abstract but once I force myself to do it, I realize all the other parts of my life that I should value just the same if not more than my academics like my passions, my talents, and my relationships. These elements are a much more accurate representation of who I am and what I stand for. This allows me to take academics off the pedestal I have it on and be at an equal stance with the rest of the elements in my life. This leads me to the next step.
Celebrate the Small Wins
When I have lost perspective I am hyper-focused on my next big thing and attaching my happiness to achieving that one thing, and when it happens I get happy for all of two seconds and then I am looking for the next big thing. To maintain my perspective I place more of an emphasis on the small wins in all elements of my life. For example, I love doing my nails because it's an outlet I can be creative, but it's not a talent that could help my future career. Yet, whenever I love how my nails come out, I feel so proud for being able to create something new and it gives me a boast of self-confidence.
Something even smaller I celebrate is getting enough sleep. Every night I try I aim to get 8 hours of sleep (although truthfully this rarely happens) and when I am able to make it happen in the morning not only am I well rested I am thrilled I went through with keeping myself accountable. Another example is when I bake or cook. I love to do both and in a perfect world I would be in culinary school right now, but the satisfaction of making something delicious that other people can appreciate is one of the best feelings. Acts of service is my love language, so having the opportunity to share my skills to feed the people I love is one of my favorite things to do. Making dinner for my family, while it may seem small is a win that I always celebrate. My main point is that allowing yourself to proud be of your little wins goes a long way. Not only do you feel like you can disassociate your value from any one thing, you begin to appreciate all your talents and passions that may not be society's versions of skills that can make you successful, but they can make you happy. This leads me to the third and final step.
Maintain Yourself Accountable
This process is fine and dandy, but it will only work if you keep yourself accountable to not let yourself revert back to your old self. Of course, setbacks happen and I go through this process at least once a quarter. As long as you're able to confront yourself that you are in a toxic headspace/mindset and try to shift your perspective, you are on the right path! During midterm and finals week is usually where I have a huge setback and go back to my tendency of making my academics my whole life. I have found that if you are not able to talk to yourself and confront this, you can have other things do it for you. Music is one way I do this. On days I feel like utter garbage, I listen to my Happy Mix playlist. I especially like listening to "Special" by Lizzo. In the song she sings, "In case no one told you today / You're special / In case nobody made you believe / You're special." It's a sort of affirmation that truly lifts my spirits when I feel really down on myself. Something else I do is write in my journal. As someone who has a hard time expressing my feelings verbally, keeping a journal has been vital in maintaining myself accountable. In the same fashion as The Perks of Being a Wallflower (one of my favorite books), I write all my entries starting with "Dear..." I have essentially made my journal a space where I can write about how I am feeling as if I am talking to a friend. I find it a lot easier to be vulnerable on paper, but it is still a good way I can confront myself that I am starting to lose perspective and I need to make some changes to get myself back to the right headspace. Both of these methods are really effective for me because it drowns out all the "noise" and allows me to focus on one thing at one time. Personally, going on nature walks or meditating does not work for me because my thoughts are too loud and I end up feeling worse being in silence. Everyone is capable of finding what works for them, I have gone through this process so many times that I have found what works for me, but I am always open to trying new things. Recently I have been experimenting with going on walks while listening to music and that has helped me feel more blissful and cleared my head enough that I feel like I can confront my lack of perspective and address how I am going to proceed to get me back on track to be in the right headspace. That's just to say that the way you go about this process is similar to living in beta. It is constantly evolving to best suit you and your needs. The main objective is to keep persistent in finding what works for you and the reward will be so worth it. And in the words of John Lennon, "World, hold on. It's going to be alright. You gonna to see the light."
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